Pocket Beagle anyone?

First off, here's the original link for anyone interested in it. Warning: It could make your brain explode.

Queen Elizabeth Pocket Beagles


Here are a few quotes from their website, my comments are in blue.

"There is a resurgence of modern pocket beagle breeders who are working to bring back the smaller variety of Beagle"

No, there is a resurgence of breeders working to make a quick buck by breeding designer dogs.

"They like to cuddled longer than the standard beagle. Some teacup varieties of Queen Elizabeth Pocket Beagles are only 5 lbs. and small enough to fit in a handbag.

Oh goody. They're perfect dogs for Paris Hilton wannabes.

"In 2003, I founded a new beagle breed, trademarked Queen Elizabeth Pocket Beagles. Initially they were outcrossed to diminish their size and add the color and coat pattern factor."

Because of course the most important thing to consider is all of the pretty colors. Insert eye roll here. Did I mention that they were "outcrossed" with Dachshunds. So essentially this isn't even a Beagle at all. It's a Dachshund/Beagle mix. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't an awful mix. In fact, I have one on my lap as I type. But I didn't pay $2500 for her. She was a rescue, from an awful home. Proof that you shouldn't have to pay thousands of dollars for a MIXED BREED, when there are thousands of similar dogs dying in shelters every single day!

"Our mother dogs have made some very beautiful puppies. Some are absolutely picture perfect in confirmation (what are they confirming? reservations?). And all are beautiful in temperament but some a little less perfect in form. That's part of miniaturizing a breed."

"I do have opinions about what makes a good dog for children. The "experts" recommend labs or golden retrievers. Why? Because they don't bite children when they are hurt by them. But those dogs are too big to make good pets. They jump on you, scratch you with their big claws. They knock the lamp off the table with their tail and leave gargantuan puddles on the floor--plus worse."

Ugh. Seriously? Clearly you have no knowledge of how to properly train a dog. Big dogs make EXCELLENT pets. I have two German Shepherds myself. They are the best dogs I've ever had. They sleep on my bed at night, they do not jump up on me because they were taught not to. They don't knock any lamps off of the tables with their tails, and they don't leave gargantuan puddles on the flood. Why? Because they are TRAINED! Unlike your dogs that ride around in your purse, my dogs actually learn to behave in the house.

"After raising many types of dogs, and many types of children, I feel I can safely say that the Queen Elizabeth Pocket Beagle is the ideal miniature dog for a home with children. They can drop them, and fall on them, and the dog typically springs back uninjured."

TYPICALLY springs back uninjured? What about the times that it doesn't?


Ok, done with the quoting. This idiot is also selling "Pocket Bears". What the heck kind of a dog is this? I haven't yet found the answer to this one.

http://www.queenelizabethpocketbeagles.com/bears

And look! They don't even ask any questions about the buyers of their puppies. You can just click and add one of these little guys to your online shopping cart!

http://www.queenelizabethpocketbeagles.com/supplies?b=1

I think my brain is exploding now.